Thoughts

My mind keeps spinning with the thought of the upcoming holiday and break in my routine. I have so much trouble adjusting to an environment other than my own for more than a four-day period. Somehow it really feels like the end of something, and I mean more than just the semester. I will miss commuting to Selinsgrove early in the morning and again in the evening with Zach. I will miss my familiar routine.
In January I start a new one; teaching at a new school, babysitting for a new family in addition to the one I already babysit for, beginning work on my dissertation, rearranging different appointments, and finding time for myself. It's also been nearly one year since my bout with major depression. It's still hard for me to even say it.

That didn't happen to me. I could have handled it better. Who am I to label myself with that, because doing so would admit to my self-worth and importance as a person, and I certainly didn't feel worthy of anything last year at this time.

I'm learning to feel worthy and to have respect for myself. I'm learning to take up space in the world, both literally and figuratively speaking.