I don't have to teach anymore. They found a replacement for me. I'm happy about it, yet also saddened. I have to keep reminding myself that I did the responsible thing by resigning, even though it feels the exact opposite.
I'm feeling kind of numb to everything right now. I keep thinking that I should feel sad or angry or any certain way, and if I don't, then I'm a freak. I'm so afraid that I won't feel the sadness around Ashley's death anymore and that life will go on as normal. What kind of person am I if the death of my own sister doesn't make me sad? I know I'm overreacting, and that I'm such a perfectionist.
The books are great, Nancy. I'm almost finished with "Landscape without Gravity".
Thanks.
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1 comment:
wow that was fast! it must be pretty short.
you don't have to feel any way in particular and I think it is the kind of thing that comes in waves ( I know that is a bad metaphor) but I think things will remind you of her that will trigger other feelings and in the mean time life will just continue to be life. the same as it always has been. It is funny, sort of like how we expect certain things to happen in an organized way and it takes years and years to realize how things really occur, and how you really have only so much control and the rest is about letting go.
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