16.9.05

Teddy Bear Teddy Bear Turn Around!

I made it through the first full week of the after school program where I now work, and I am thoroughly exhausted. There are several factors involved, such as:
a. working full time for the first time in a year
b. playing kickball, baseball and jumping rope almost every afternoon with the kids in the hot sun
c. waking up early, too early. I don't need to get up until 6:00, but I've been waking at 5:30
(and even 4:15 one day)
d. worrying about planning activities and discipline techniques
e. my already ridiculously heightened sensation of "I can do it ALL" increases

So today I carved out some time to just sit in my car and listen to music for half an hour, and I actually did it. This is a big achievement for me. I don't usually just sit around doing "nothing". It really is a skill to allow yourself to sit and just be and to face all the problems that have been plaguing you. My usual coping mechanism involves running away, and I mean literally running. I've cut back on running drastically, and, to my own amazement, nothing bad has happened.
It was while I was sitting around that I realized how tired I actually am. I also realized that the intersection of Burrowes and Fairmount is really hazardous.

2 comments:

Blue Moon Mama said...

Angelique - You write so beautifully. I cried when I read your blog because I have sisters, too. I felt that I could relate to your mixed emotions about them, though I have not experienced the same kind of grief.

Peace.

nancy said...

I understand. these little guys are wearing me out. and I'm not even jumping rope or doing any recess like activities. learning how to read wipes me out everyday.